•  I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
•  When chemists die, they barium.
•  Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
•  I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
•  I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
•  This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
•  I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
•  I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
•  They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
•  We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
•  Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
•  Broken pencils are pointless.
•  I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
•  What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
•  I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
•  All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
•  I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
•  Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
•  A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
•  The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
•  Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

People You’ll See On My Tumblr
↳ The Jonas Brothers

“I like music because it’s a better version of speaking.”